That is so helpful, Fr. Gregory. There seem to be two principles embedded in what you say which probably ought to be emblazoned in large letters above every Canon Lawyer's desk.
'How did the Apostles deal with this?' And:
'God wants all His children in His Church - how can this be done?'
The application of such principles would help enormously. Like the later Roman Empire we live in a pluralistic world where people will be of all faiths and none and where divorce is far from unknown. We can try to pretend these things aren't as they are, which would be the evangelising equivalent of sticking our head in a hole in the sand, or we could try to follow the most successful evangelists of all - the early Apostles.
In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins. (1 John 4:10)