dear Eve 92.
I just want to say, your "ramblings" were not boring at all, in fact it is good to see someone actively taking part in, and discovering their faith. I myself am from a secular family and upon finishing a degree in theology surrounded by people of strong faith and will, went through almost the same as you, genuinely worrying about the big questions such as what will become of me, and genuinely thinking I was doing something wrong compared to these people. Now I look back and think some of them were doing more wrong than good.
I know these things can cause a panic, but do not worry, the fact that you are seeking the way, and not jumping on the first escape wagon is good.
After searching for these answers for a few years (I am 23 now) I found Orthodoxy, and am very pleased I did.
If you are interested in looking into Orthodoxy, I would suggest the writings of Kallistos Ware, especially "the Orthodox Church" which covers many Orthodox beliefs and practices shared by Both the Greeks, and also the BOC.