a spiritual wanderer

[John Charmley]

Dear Paul,

One problem which I found difficult to deal with was the legacy of my disillusionment with Anglicanism.

I think that I had spent so long trying to convince myself that I was right to try to stay where I was that I was a bit bewildered when I realised that there was no 'there' there, so to speak. There was a temptation to be a little bitter about Anglicanism - but I realised, I hope in time, that that would be utterly fruitless. It was Anglicanism which had brought me to where I was, and if it wished to go off to its own destinations, that was fine; it was, after all, me who had decided to get off the bus, so to speak.

It did feel very strange though, and there were times when it felt 'Protestant' in the sense that it looked like 'I' was deciding what was and was not Orthodox. But then I realised that I was only accepting the definitions of the undivided Church, and in that sense I was 'original' in that I was faithful to the original; which, being a trifle slow at times, I realised was why I had got off the bus in the first place.

Where I was fortunate was in encountering the BOC, which made no demands about other cultures, and did not confuse ethnic practice with Orthodox praxis. In no time at all I have come to love the Liturgy of St. James, which has all the wonders of the BCP - and more.

I hope that your journey goes well, and that your footsteps are guided.

In Christ,

John